Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
