I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
