bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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