Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
