how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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