your parents love me but you hate me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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