Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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