you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
