If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
