if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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