Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
