these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Randomize
