my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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