I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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