I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She even gives head with a lisp.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
