It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
