Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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