3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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