insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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