Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
