she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
