I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
id be glad to
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Randomize
