Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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