i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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