Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize