in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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