Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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