It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
