I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
