I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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