I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
