Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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