if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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