i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
