She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
