I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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