i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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