dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
