2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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