Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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