all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she peed on how many people?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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