I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
