I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
