gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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