normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
