Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
