I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
