That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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