That's intense
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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