Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
