Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
