Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize