TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh god it's open bar.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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