Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
