We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
