i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize