he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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