I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
