Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
