ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
