I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize