No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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