Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
